Under the headline "Papal Monopoly," a leading Catholic magazine in England revealed details of a new board game for Catholics. Depeneding on how the dice tumble, a cardinal's chances of becoming Pope can be boosted or destroyed. "That's the scenario in the impeccably researched board game Vatican, in which players take the role of cardinals vying for the throne of St Peter," says The Tablet of London. "During the course of their 'careers,' players 'Take a Stand' on weighty theological and moral issues, including contraception, clerical celibacy or the campaign to have the Virgin Mary proclaimed co-redeemer. The race begins as soon as the previous papacy ends, sometimes in bizarre circumstances. "The Pope dies when the popemobile rolls over after hitting a truck carrying bananas. Your earlier warnings that the popemobile was unstable are now seen as evidence of your sound judgment and you gain additional support," reads one card.
Players must seek to climb the ladder to spiritual perfection while simultaneously avoiding the "Cesspool of Sin" by not, for example, committing the "Sin of Gluttony: at a papal banquet, you have three helpings of cannelloni." Thankfully these sins can always be expiated with a trip to the confessional.
I guess this is as good a testimony to the relevance of the Catholic church as anything. The Pope may favor a two-state solution for Israel and Palestine, but the idea that celibacy and contraception are debatable remains consigned to the limbo of a board game. Maybe we should go back to eating fish on Fridays.
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